I’m reminded of something Dr. Tachi Yamada, president of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation’s Global Health Program, said in an interview about people skills:
A second key lesson was from a doctor named Marcel Tuchman. He was the most compassionate person I have ever met in my life—I mean, full of human kindness. And every time he met somebody, you had the sense that he cared more about them than anything else in the world.
So what I learned from him is that when you actually are with somebody, you’ve got to make that person feel like nobody else in the world matters. I think that’s critical.
So, for example, I don’t have a mobile phone turned on because I’m talking to you. I don’t want the outside world to impinge on the conversation we’re having. I don’t carry a BlackBerry. I do my e-mails regularly, but I do it when I have the time on a computer. I don’t want to be sitting here thinking that I’ve got an e-mail message coming here and I’d better look at that while I’m talking to you. Every moment counts, and that moment is lost if you’re not in that moment 100 percent.Everyone’s mileage varies, of course, but this is something I’ve been conscious of in 2010. Last fall, a very dear friend, in the way only a dear friend can, told me in so many words that it was fucking rude whenever I zoned out on my iPhone when we were hanging out—and she was absolutely right. I took what she said to heart.
Those of you who know me socially can probably attest to this: Unless I’m taking a picture or coordinating the get-together at hand or looking something up because someone specifically asked me to, my phone stays in my pocket. I rarely, almost never, take calls when I’m out—because, frankly: I’m not a doctor; I’m not a plumber; I’m not an expectant father; I don’t need to be on-call—at least not in social situations. Before everybody was reachable and nobody was present—say, fifteen years, fifteen minutes ago—we all managed somehow. I think the time we spend in one another’s physical presence—your time and my time—needs to remain precious.
A half-year’s resolution.
